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Shum Invent Company.
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TO SELENA GOMEZ WITH LOVE SPECIAL AGENT SHUM SPECIAL AGENT SHUM DISNEY
CHANNEL UNORIGINAL MOVIE JEREMY H. SHUM
THE JEREMY SHUM INVENT COMPANY Los Angeles, California
Special Agent Shum
Disney Channel Unoriginal Movie
Copyright © 2010
All rights reserved. No part of the copyrighted material of this
publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or otherwise-with the prior written
permission of the publisher. Names listed in this book are actual
artifacts of our society and persons who exist or have existed.
Intellectual property of the story used under fair use provision of
the Copyright Act 1976, relating to parody and satire. Story is
fictional, and no implication is made of factual representation.
Actuality is purely coincidental and unintended.
Published by The Jeremy Shum Invent Company
1/19 Northwest Boulevard
Beverly Hills, California 90210
Printed in the United States of America
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Shum, Jeremy, 1989
Chapter 1: My Rock Star Dream 8
Chapter 2: As the Bell Rings 12
Chapter 3: Save Me the Embarrassment 18
Chapter 4: Princess from the Undead 21
Chapter 5: To Be, or Not to Be 23
Chapter 6: My Future Decided 27
Chapter 7: Hollywood Nightlife 31
Chapter 8: Wizards with Selena Gomez 34
Chapter 1: My Rock Star Dream
‘Snap’, went the camera.
We were in the middle of nowhere. Not merely ‘nowhere’ in the sense of
‘I don’t know where we are’ nowhere, but ‘nowhere’ as in ‘we’re in
some place with no iPod’s, no iPhone’s, no IM, and oh my God-no
MySpace’ nowhere. It’s not that we didn’t have one; it was because
there was no place to recharge it. Talk about ancient culture!
Coincidently, the ancient building located in this ancient land of
Freakville was dubbed by the mysteriously looking tour guide, who can
I say looked like the lead character from Italian Job, the new
version, as the ‘Ancient Ruin’ – how original!
‘Thank God we’re out of this fat ugly white building,’ I remarked as
my group of mates and I tottered out of the building that seemed to be
located in the middle of nowhere. I had no idea where we were – and
even why we were where we were. After all, what sort of reasonable
explanation could be provided for a group of teenybopper girls to be
dispositioned into the middle of nowhere?
It all started with ‘him’ – but doesn’t it always? ‘Prince’, ‘the
one’, ‘boyfriend’, ‘hottie’, even ‘super hottie’, if you like.
However, this was no normal story. Not one you’d hear from the likes
of Jane Austen or even C.S. Lewis. No. When Man, or should I say
Woman, digs deep into the soul and reveals her true worries,
excitement, sadness, and happiness – and expresses it in the hallowed
form of written narrative, it should be much more romantic, much more
mysterious, much more fantastic, and much more comedic than all
fictional novels combined.
Well, before we get back to the very genesis of the story, who doesn’t
agree with me that it’d be radical to be the next Hilary Duff? I mean,
for God sakes, she’s the biggest teen pop star on the planet. With
over thirteen million albums sold worldwide, the first one which went
triple-platinum, as well as a perfume line, a string of successful
Hollywood movies; in her personified every teen’s dream.
Everything was perfect; well that was what I originally thought,
until, during my voyage into pop stardom, unexpectedly ended up in the
middle of the site where NASA faked the moon landing. And no, that
scene was not a pretty picture, painted with tropical stylistic dents
to a pit of sand, which could be seen as far East as it could be seen
West, that was untouched by mankind in the last million years. No, the
more useful adjective to describe such horror was more like, a fat
ugly building chucked on top of the sand to cover how ugly the place
was! Words probably aren’t the best to express the ugly. They never
were; the English language was created to express the bold and the
beautiful, the elegant and the enchanted; not some fat ugly building
which looked more like an Ancient Mental Hospital than any cool
I mean, don’t you think it ever occurs to Mr. Ancient Businessman that
us kids would actually like to access MSN out here in No Man’s land? I
don’t actually know whether the fact he didn’t think of that freaks me
out more, or the fact that he actually owns this ancient chuckle of
nonsense. I mean, if there were a Forbes Magazine of Top 25 Ugly
Places, this would be one of them.
If I’m not being Punk’d, I must be kidding myself. Maybe it was a
joke. Maybe Ashton Butcher would pop out of nowhere with camera
operators and scream ‘You’re Punk’d’.
Thank my friend Mandy for getting me here. She’s my ‘BFF’. It’s short
for ‘Best Friend Forever’. Where did she book this ticket from anyway?
www.boreustodeath.com? If there were a public phone, yet alone a
phone, I would have dialed 1800-IM-BORED to declare a State of
Emergency to get me out of there immediately.
Back to me: My name’s Miley, I’m 15, I attend, or should I say
attended Pacific Coast High. When I grow up, I want to become a
superstar: the world’s biggest superstar, Miley Duff. However, that’s
not my real name. My real name’s Miley Stewart. I was just a normal
kid growing up at a normal high school. My interests are surfing and
skating, shopping and, well, boys, but mostly just thinking about
Like I was saying, there was always ‘the one’, or should I say ‘the
one whom my heart loves’. You’re probably thinking, why the
distinction? My favorite bible passage is in Song of Solomon. You
won’t believe there is such a romantic passage until the read it!
‘I found him whom my soul loveth; I held him, and would not let him
go.’ (Song of Solomon 3:4)
I did rather spin that passage though, the words ‘until I brought him
to the place where my mother (and father) conceived me’ out. I
thought, just a bit to the point, Einstein.
Anyway, how romantic is the passage? I love Song of Solomon.
Especially during reading time in class, I remember that my friend and
me would always get out the Bible, and giggle whilst reading Songs of
Anyway, back to ‘this guy’. His name is Troy. The name just makes me
tremble, Troy Bolton. I guess I’m a bit shy, so I haven’t really
talked to him, but let me tell you, I’m sure he’s into me. Well, I
guess you now understand what I mean when I say ‘the guy’. I’m talking
about in terms of ‘I think’ he’s my future husband, rather than ‘he’s
actually the guy’. I’m sure that God wants us together. Us teens
today, we put the ‘Oh’ in optimistic.
However, just think about it. God created Adam, and He was in full
relationship with Adam, yet He said, ‘It is not good’ that man is
lonely Genesis 2:18, if you want to read about it, and created Eve.
Therefore, God is the god of love, literally, Valentine Day’s Cupid.
Anyway, Troy was cool, but my circle of friends who I actually talked
to day-to-day and hung around at school was another topic. You see,
Troy and I were in different social clichés. He was the cool sporty
kid, and me – I was in more of the naughty group.
My BFF was Mandy, but she was four years older than I was and didn’t
‘Do you believe in God,’ this kid said out of nowhere.
Not so much because I’m confused as to the question, but more so
because in the computer room at my school, nobody talks. I quickly
turned sideways to meet his eyes.
‘Yes’, I reply, thinking for a second after recovering from the jolt.
‘Well God sure was a show off creating you,’ he says, with a massive
smirk on his face.
I smiled and giggled tenderly. I mean, come on! How bad boy is it to
try a pickup line on a girl, yet alone a girl you don’t know, from the
computer room. In addition, it broke ice, I guess; but little did I
know I had only uncovered the tip of the iceberg that would be,
Special Agent Shum.
Chapter 2: As the Bell Rings
The bell rang.
It was English, the subject I hated with a passion. I mean, for crying
aloud, who needs to write 300-word long essays, when my MSN log is
comparably 300 pages long? It’s not as if we can’t spell, unlike third
world children from Africa. I mean, I see the point in ESL, but
English, give me a break. Moreover, as fate would have it – not long
after daydreaming, that is exactly what I was off to do: have a break.
I quickly grabbed my books, and ran out of classroom, trying to hold
down my skirt to prevent an embarrassing situation, whilst trying to
clutch on to my books.
‘No running Miley’, Ms Hilton shouted. I acted as if I didn’t hear.
Terrorland would have no grip on me. In ten seconds, I had already ran
out of the classroom, run through the corridor, through the second
floor veranda, down the staircase on to first floor, through the
ground floor veranda, down the second staircase on to the bitumen, and
into the canteen to get the best canteen line position. It’s not as if
I could wait until the return of Jesus to get my lunch.
‘Mileyl!’ I hear somebody scream from behind me. I turned around, and
realized it was Jeremy.
‘Oh hi Jeremy’, I said, excitedly. Was I too obvious? Did I sound too
desperate for friends? Maybe he'd think I was a loser? What did he
think of me? Would he think I’m an ugly duckling? Maybe even fat? You
see, we were in grade ten, and it was everybody's first year of being
a senior, and nobody at the school knew each other. We didn't meet
much people in week one, far it was only filled with wondrous tours of
our school to be.
‘Hi Miley’, Jeremy replies, seemingly overwhelmed by the first week of
school, ‘how's school going?’
‘It's going good,’ I shrugged. It sure didn't sound so in my voice.
‘Let's go and get some recess’, he says, smiling, realizing things
weren't going as well for me as I'd hoped. I guess you could say I am
that emotional type of girl. I never got into the hand-cutting thing
because I mean, what do you get out of it? However, I'd always
secretly go into the toilets and have cries in between lessons;
despite I don't think anybody knew.
‘Sure’, I said, ‘Actually I've got to put my books into my locker; can
you please save me a place in the line?’ No. What was I doing? I had
just opened myself to the chance of being rejected. What if Jeremy
were to reject my request? What if when I got back the others in the
line didn't let me in with Jeremy and told me not to push in? This
surely wasn't my day.
‘Yeah that's fine’, he said gleefully.
It didn't take me long to return, and I slipped into the line next to
Jeremy with no problems, Sometimes, I just wonder how much we worry
about things that never come to pass - it's almost like our happiness
depends on the acceptance of others.
The teacher counted the next five in. You see, our school canteen was
quite small, and to prevent theft, the canteen only allows around
twelve or so odd people in there at once. I then tried to predict
whether the teacher would let us in, for the number the teacher let in
wasn't always five. It was arbitrary, and often depended on the
benevolence of the teacher. Bad teacher and it would seem the entrance
pass would always extend to the person just before you; good teacher
and you would always seem to be the last person to be allowed in the
It was a grumpy looking blonde woman, who looked like the serious sort
of person. She looked like the sort of person who may have been good
looking when she was younger (but probably still quite serious); but
still not the sort you could imagine being married to an ordinary man.
However, to define an ordinary man in his forties is impossible. I
just can't see how any woman could find them attractive.
‘Okay, next five’, the teacher utters in a rather whisky tone,
counting the next five. It seemed like me and Jeremy was so dose to
the front that this would be both our turns. We quickly scurried
forward. Jeremy takes one-step past the teacher with no problem, with
me tailing him. No problem. He takes another one. He is clearly past
the teacher, but then the unthinkable occurs. The teachers hand drops
right in front of me.
‘That's it, Miss’, she says. I couldn't believe it. My newfound friend
and I would be separated, like Romeo and Juliet in Romeo & Juliet, or
Mr. Darcy and Miss. Bennett in Pride & Prejudice. Unbelievable! How
could an education system, which vows to teach children, attempt to
destroy the social psychology of young teens by ripping one from
A tear left my eye, and I dropped my head, so that my light brunette
hair covered my face. I had spent hours on my makeup but I knew my
tears would ruin all of the work I had put in. My mascara wasn't
waterproof, and nor was my eyeliner. I rubbed my eyes with my palms,
trying to cover my eyes so nobody would see me in tears. Suddenly I
felt a tug on my hands. I didn't want to know who it was, for nobody
could make it better. Who knew me or wanted me at school anyway?
Lifting my head slightly, realized it was Jeremy.
''But...’’ I said, trying to figure out why he wasn't in the canteen,
such as whether the evil teacher had asked him to come back out whilst
I was crying.
‘It's okay’, he says, I'm here for you’. That was all needed to hear.
I put my arms over him and rested my head on his shoulder.
‘You can go in as well’, the teacher says, rolling her eyes backward.
Maybe she wasn't as mean after all.
Jeremy had come to me and had rescued me and I was grateful. We have
been great friends since. The canteen was one of our favorite places
to hang out at school, as they stocked the yummiest muffins in the
whole of Franklin, which won first place in the Tennessee State Fair,
dubbed the ‘Moo Shoo Muffins’, Isn't that such a hilarious name? I
have no idea why it was named after the little dragon from Mulan, but
they are some delicious muffins.
Mandy was my other dose friend. I had first met her in math's class.
She's one really smart cookie, but she's also extremely pretty. She's
a brown-haired person, but her hair's a lot darker than mine is is. In
addition, my eyes are a lot more grey and blue than her greener eyes.
Probably the only similarity is our ceramic straight hair that rolls
down to our back.
I had met her back in Week 1 however. Like her. I'd always liked
math's, since I was good at it, and I usually got on with the
teachers, they'd let us talk in class whilst doing work, and once I'd
had finished my work, the teachers let us do things we liked, such as
making paper airplanes, and playing with our tech decks.
My classroom was in the A-Block, which was near the front of the
school. It was still quite early in the morning, early in the week,
and despite it was a little windy outside, the sun was up, and shone
through the window, illuminating the reasonably sized room naturally.
The room had an old school blackboard, and was painted all white.
There was a door to the front left of the room, which seemed to be a
doorway to the classroom next door.
I was running late. The lesson said ‘10:00am’ but it was already
10:06am. It was the first lesson of mathematics at the new school, and
I'd be late? What would the teacher think of me? I'd have to make up
an excuse. I guess it really wasn't my fault, for I had no idea where
or what ‘A2’ was. You see, in Junior High, we didn't go around to
different rooms for lessons - all of the lessons were in the one room,
with the one teacher. How was I supposed to know ‘A2’ meant A-Block,
Room 27 I had to prepare my extensive speech in my mind, which I would
present to the class, like the Abraham Lincoln's address to the United
Moreover, there it was ‘A2’ in large print on a piece of white plastic
nailed to the door. I peeked through the door to see my embarrassment.
I saw most of the seats filled with students, so I was a little
worried. However, the teacher didn't seem to be there.
‘Move it little girl’, I heard from behind me, as they pushed me to
the side. It was some fat kid. Gosh, why can't people these days get
some manners? I walked in after him, a little worried. The seats
seemed to be all filled up. Moreover, it seemed like it would be
harder to get a seat than it would be in a game of musical chairs.
The fat kid walked up to the back, and not wanting to sit next to him,
and not seeing many free seats around anyway, I walked in a
perpendicular direction across the front of the classroom. I hoped the
entire class didn't see me, for I only wanted a seat. At least I
wouldn't have to do my Lincoln speech.
‘Hey, sit here’, I hear a voice. Had I known somebody from the school?
I quickly turned to see whoever made the remark.
‘Hi there, there's nobody sitting here, do you want to sit here?’ she
says, whilst moving her bag off the chair to her right. She was
pretty; amazingly pretty actually; the sort of girl that every person
would like. She seemed nice, but also a bit of a rebel.
‘Sure’, I reply, unsure why a girl as pretty and popular as her would
be interested in me.
‘I'm Mandy’, she says.
‘Hi, I'm Miley’, I reply smiling.
‘So Miley’, what's up?’
‘Not much, you know - school’, I reply.
The door in front of us suddenly swings open; and a little clean-
shaven man, with glasses the size of his face, in his mid fifties
‘Hi class’, he says. The whole room silences.
‘My name is Mr. Mercury and I will be taking t his Year 10 math's
After explaining to us the details of the first chapter of Year 10
mathematics - moderately difficult arithmetic, we are given time to
work. The chatter in the room increases, and people start moving
around, ‘Ouch’. I said quietly, reacting to something that hit my
head. What was it? In addition, who could have a grudge on me already,
I thought to myself. Looking down at the ground, it was half a rubber,
somebody threw at me. Turning around, the fatty from earlier laughs.
‘What's your problem?’ he exclaims
I quickly look forward, knowing that I will burst out into tears any
second and my newfound friend will discover I am a newfound freak.
Crying was the last thing I could do to introduce myself to Mandy.
After all, I had been given the opportunity to become friends with the
hottest, most popular girl on the planet -I couldn't let an eraser
sacrifice all that.
My eyes began to swell with tears. Miss Popular was sure to desert me.
She'd probably think I'm a crybaby, a wimpy whore, a sobbing slut.
‘Hey, what's wrong’, I hear as Mandy pulls my left hand away from my
‘Nothing’, I say.
The fatty, who threw the eraser at me, and his friends, are now all
‘Look fatty’, Mandy turns around saying, ‘stop being a prick, and find
something useful like losing some weight on America's Biggest loser,
rather than being a girl basher.’ I couldn't believe it. Mandy
actually stuck up for me.
‘Here you go Miley’, she says, handing over a few tissues,
‘Thank you Mandy’, I stutter.
I surely couldn't find a better friend. Literally love at first sight;
and we have been BFF's ever since.
As if that wasn't cool enough, Mandy and Jeremy are best of friends,
and should I say, I reckon, more than just friends do. I've always
thought Jeremy was hot, but since we're so close, he’s like my
brother, and I'm just happy that he and Mandy have it going on.
Chapter 3: Save Me the Embarrassment
Save me the embarrassment.
‘Mom’, I exclaimed, ‘You’re not coming with me in that’. It’s not like
one day I grew up, and wanted to discard my parents. No. It’s just
that they don’t understand me. My Dinosaur mother just didn’t go
through what I’m going through, and to have your mom dressed in daggy
clothes was the last thing a fifteen-year-old girl needed.
‘Bad news’, dad enters into the room declaring.
‘I’m adopted’, I taunted.
‘It looks like we may need to sell some of our belongings to cover
the rent for the house’, dad continues. I started to begin to
envision all of the things I had come to store up over my teen years,
and what sort of prioritization I could afford in discarding my
somewhat less- needed items.
‘This is the worse I’ve ever been treated in life’, I exclaim
thundering out of the lounge, into the study.
‘Wait until you get married’, mom exclaims.
‘Miles, can we talk?’ dad says.
‘God, what?’ I shout, pulling my right earplug out of my ear.
‘Forgot, dad should leave message on daughter’s MySpace rather than
addressing her’, he mutters quietly to himself.
‘Oi’, I scream, as the revving on my annoying little brother’s
Playstation blots out all of the noise in the house, ‘stop playing
your stupid little car games’.
It’s not so much that I was an angst or hormonal teenager, or maybe it
was, but if everyone around me could shut up and stop annoying me,
maybe I wouldn’t be a pissed off so-called ‘typical’ teenager. After
all, its thanks a lot to the Industrial Revolution that young people
were displaced, causing the social construction of the categorization
‘Listen, I know I said I was going to buy you the new iPhone 3G’, dad
continues, ‘but it seems like we are a bit tight on the budget, so…’
‘I was going to show it to all my friends so they wouldn’t think we’re
that pov’, I interrupted, ‘Nice one dad – Thanks!’ I exclaim.
Mom was finally ready to head out. Not entirely, what you’d call
exquisite or elegant, but at least endurable.
You see, we were going out shopping, and I had always fretted about
shopping with my mother. Boys all know that girls one day turn out
like their mothers, and imagine if a boy saw me with my mom. God, such
depressive deliberation should not even come into the mind of a teen.
Anyway, the ride was great for it was a bright sunny day, and we were
heading out to Chapel St Mall, which was the biggest, brightest, and
best shopping precinct in town.
‘You look a bit emo today’, mom said as her eyes met mine, which
received a tremendously ample application of black outliner this
‘Emo?’ I taunt, ‘More like emo-mazing’.
Soon, we arrived at Chapel St Mall, and had found a free car park
‘One small step for Miley’, I said stepping out of the car, ‘But one
large step for Mankind’, I chuckled, and feeling fictitiously
fantastic, but unsure as to whether what I had just said actually made
As I was about to race into the Atlantis of Shopping Malls, through
the car park, before actually distancing five odd meters from our car,
I find myself lying on the bitumen after knocking into a rather pale
‘I’m sorry’, I quickly declare, trying to get myself off the ground
and wiping my dusty hands on my skirt. The girl also lifts herself off
the ground slowly.
‘Sara?’ I interrupted. I had seen her several times at school before,
but I had never really talked with her for she was from a different
cliché than me.
‘Oh no’, my mom cries out from behind, staring into her phone.
‘What?’ I sneered, ‘You just received an SMS from a space zombie from
Pluto asking you to return to Planet Too-Too?’
‘Miley, I’m really sorry about this, but it looks like I will need to
head off to work for an unexpected meeting which seems to involve a
presentation to one of our biggest clients so I’m going to need to
head off – have fun with uh–’.
‘Sara’, she says finishing off mom’s sentence.
I vowed to myself for the last time that if I were ever to become a
mother, I’d be a real mom; one who actually cared more about the title
of parent than the one on her business card.
Anyway, introduce yourself to Sara the Book Worm. Head honcho of the
Pacific Coast High Book Club. I hated books with a passion, and in
particular, the King and Queen of book land: the ‘book worms’. Sara
wasn’t exactly ugly. She was hot, minus the braces; the fashion, hair
and make-up, and maybe the fragrance...
‘And I have this massive dream where Jeremy Shum, who gets za ladies…’
‘Shut up Jeremy,’ she said butt in before I could finish my sentence,
‘you so do not’.
‘Why does everybody say that,’ I asked.
‘I don’t know,’ she giggled.
‘Anyway, I was wondering
What did the pen say to the pencil?
What’s your point?
Chapter 4: Princess from the Undead
‘Where’s my novel Princess of the Undead?’ I thought to myself
scurrying through a pile of books that I had taken out of my bag,
which seemed to be somewhat comparable to the height, and shape, of
the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
‘Have you lost something’, Mandy calls from the desk beside me.
‘Yes’, I exclaimed, ‘my social life’.
It was English, and I was in year twelve, and approaching the end of
the year: the forever-dreaded SAT’s were coming up soon. I don’t know
why SAT stood for Schools Admissions Test, since for every normal
student, excluding book worms, which I couldn’t properly provide
representation for, stood for something more like the Sick and
There was probably no subject I hated with a passion more than
English. Our teacher, Ms. Mattiske, was, I guess, fairly nice, but a
rather hard marker. Moreover, to reiterate what I mean by ‘hard
marker’, if you were to score above eighty-five percent, which was an
A, you would be William Shakespeare.
‘So hydrogen and oxygen are getting a drink, and gold walks in, and
they go ‘Au, get out of the bar’’, Jeremy says walking pass the front
of my desk and through the side to the seat behind me, ‘Because, you
know, Au is the atomic symbol for gold’, Jeremy clarifies.
‘Ah, ha, ha’, Mandy taunts.
‘Someone’s looking towards the SAT’, I say in a rather rhetorical
‘Oh, look who woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning’,
‘You know what Miley’, Mandy says, ‘many people think these SAT
questions are difficult; Not me.’
‘No?’ I gasp.
‘No’, she replies, ‘These questions all have answers’.
Chapter 5: To Be, or Not to Be
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession
of an imaginative mind must be in want of a good wife.
‘Things I’d like in a girl,’ Jeremy wrote down in his notepad, as he
dwelled into the question, which I really had no interest in.
To imagine the statistical probability of meeting the one meant for
you, if there is such a thing, is almost an inverse googolplex, I
thought to myself. As the number googol was a rather large number, one
with a hundred zeros following to be exact, the inverse of this rather
large number would be rather close to zero.
You see, the mathematical definition of ‘probability’ is the
occurrence of a ‘match’ divided by the number of potential
possibilities. Given that the population of English-speaking countries
(USA, UK, Canada, Australia, Ireland, New Zealand, India, Philippines,
and South Africa) is at any one time 1.4 billion (and growing),
because the typical ratio of male to female is approximately 1.06, the
world population of women is approximately 680 million. Given a male
would target females with a standard deviation of age five years older
or younger; this would refer to a range of the female population
within a range of 10 years. Assuming that at any one time 15% of the
population will be within this age range, the concatenated population
still equals a whopping 100 million. As an example of a comparison,
the probability of winning a lottery is usually around one to 65
million. In other words, finding ‘the one’ is potentially twice as
hard as winning the lottery.
To find just one girl to spend the remaining forty to eighty years of
a boy’s life at the mere age of twenty is just an unbelievable idea,
but yet something that the market performs to do, nearly just as
effectively as the job market.
Despite there are more men than women, I thought, it is so much more
difficult for a girl to find a good boy, than vice versa.
Anyway, it is unanimously agreed in statistics that a sample size of
root (two) of the population, can be considered representative of the
population. Although only a sample size of 10,000 English-speaking
teenage girls is required, this is still maybe a more difficult
investigation to complete as first thought.
Have you noticed however, that even if, a thousand girls had passed
one by, maybe only a dozen or so have the ‘it’ factor? Maybe then,
jotting down the attributions of girls I liked, I could find common
traits I liked.
‘Kiera Knightly,’ Jeremy said.
‘Super anorexic with no personality?’ I remarked.
‘Awesome British accent and skinny’
Boys certainly overrate dating Ms Knightly. Her personality, I had
seen from many movies, was rather unsatisfying. However, maybe this
was their imagination, capable of the concoction of the shopping for
selective genetic features.
‘Cameron Diaz, perfect smile and funny.’
More like slutty. Despite Ms. Diaz had an unbelievably cool smile, an
overly dazzling personality that would keep boys laughing for hours;
it wasn’t too long ago that she released semi-nude porn. Maybe the
idea would be a girl like that would even replace cable.
‘Anne Hathaway, dark straight hair.’
‘What about Sophie?’ I asked.
You see, Sophie Winzar was Jeremy’s best friend, who sported blonde
‘There’s something I just like about the slutty bad girl look for dark
brunette hair,’ he replied.
He had explained it to me before. Being brunette myself, I found the
remark offensive when he first told me. However, he explained it was
not a slut in actuality, but those who dress and pretend to be like
In fact, I remembered when Jeremy made the remark to an Uncle at
Church who worked as the Marketing Manager at the Walt Disney Company,
who told him his wife overheard the conversation, and wanted to give
Jeremy a good slap.
‘Leeza Beytell, dark tanned skin, says what she believes.’
‘Sophie Winzar’, he finally finished with.
As Jeremy’s best friend, I thought he would probably include her.
He told me the back-story nearly a million times. He must have the
memory span of a fish, five seconds, or so, because he repeats himself
quite a bit.
Anyway, he was friends with this young lass initially because he
thought she was rather ‘hot’ (whatever that means), but then he meets
another girl, and talks to this girl he used to like (but no longer
do) about the new girl that he now likes. Then later they act as if
they never had thoughts of each other, but both of you deep down have
that awkward moment between each other?
He actually liked her for many reasons, if not simply for the fact
that they get along like magic. Maybe there is this unspoken law where
one gets along with one’s friend only because they find some of her
attributes most important in a potential partner.
‘Jeremy,’ I then thought, ‘can’t shut up, hyperactive, imaginative,
energetic, and crazy’.
Back to Sophie, she was a bit of a klutz, pretty nice and positive,
but I knew most important of all to him, Godly.
Jeremy made it a tradition to talk about his Sophie story as often as
possible. It was in the computer room at school. He was ultra-
hyperactive that day and decided that he wanted to get girl attention.
I think it must be some sort of social interaction between groups of
young boys, where the boys have some sort of untold of competition to
grab the attention of the girl. Apparently, he was far too embarrassed
just to go up and talk to Sophie randomly, so he ditched a pencil from
one side of the room to the other. Ducking immediately down, he almost
expected her to come over to my side of the room shortly thereafter to
complain of the dangerousness of his actions. This never resulted,
however. Later asking her what she thought about it, she actually told
me she never knew of it.
Thinking that she knew he threw a pencil and ignored it, he talked to
my friends about how amazingly hot she was (though he never actually
saw her face; only saw the back of her head).
As she was leaving the room, he said a quick ‘bye’ and she responded
with ‘bye’ as well.
As random as it would seem, she came back bursting into the room
thirty seconds later, came up to his computer, and asked him if I knew
where ‘Queen Victoria Hospital’ was.
Discovering they were later in similar classes, he was from then forth
Chapter 6: My Future Decided
There is always this ‘moment’ where everything in life is decided.
Maybe it was in year twelve, maybe it had to be years later, maybe it
was an event under your control, maybe not; but there is a time in
your life where the whole course of your life is decided.
It is surely an interesting observation, that in life, sometimes, the
most effective strategic moves we can make are those that we do not
intend to happen. We just go on living life, entering doors that open,
leaving behind the ones that have closed, and your dreams just come
It is commonly said that there are two guarantees in life: (1) taxes,
and (2) death. Despite the blatant omission of other probable choices
such as contractual warrantees, and acts of God, why does society fret
the Armageddon of these two matters more than any other? Although
little can be said for underlying reasons for societal psychology,
perhaps the question of fear can be quickly overcome if only one found
the perfect antidote: education.
Taxes are administered to literally every aspect of society. Even
Capital Gains, is taxed today. However, nobody put it better than
Benjamin Franklin who observed that nobody can ‘take’ what man has
emptied into his head. Knowledge learnt, is the tree of life that
humankind has been searching for indefinitely: non-taxable!
Further, knowledge is free from death. As one generation passes the
knowledge to the next, knowledge transcends time and thus from death!
The Chinese mastered the politics of education before any other
civilization. Education is only as effective as the numbers who study
for it, and although realized the national good was expensive, knew
very well that ignorance would be even more expensive.
Early schools though, saw the dual objective of study. As we move into
a knowledge-based economy, there is a lie being spread that education
is only for making a living. No, early schools knew that education was
also for living, and classes such as etiquette, ethics, theology, and
philosophy were readily abound.
Having reached a mid-life crisis realization of lost fundamentals of
the early schools, many institutions are scavenging back into history
to find other pedagogical treasures they may have lost.
For this very reason, medical schools have recently reverted from the
1900’s teaching-based structure back to the learning-based paradigm of
the Athenian period. Problem-based learning now accounts for a much
larger majority of the substantive course; and practical training is
now a requirement.
We are just relearning what we forgot though: it is not what is
taught; it is what is remembered, transferred, and used – that is,
what is learnt.
After I graduated from high school, I went on to study medicine (MBBS)
at Harvard University, and then a PhD in Engineering from the UCLA
(University of California at Los Angeles).
After a few years of tutoring at my University, I was accepted as a
lecturer at the University of College London (in England), teaching
medical engineering. In due time, I had progressed through the ranks
of assistant professor, to associate professor, to full professor.
During my work in forensics, I had a fantastic opportunity that arose
within the field of defense. Eventually, I became a secret agent at
MI5, eventually rising to special agent. I was then forth known as
Special Agent Shum to my closest friends.
Recently, The Walt Disney Company looked at corporate expansion into
England, and as the federal defense agency in England, the MI5 was put
on their case. After a few failed attempts by existing personnel to
foil the corporate battle between Disney and Nickelodeon, I was called
on to the scene.
Even before you step into Disneyland, you are greeted with an unusual
looking train that takes you from reality into the dreaminess that is
known as Disney. Secluded and with no more remnants of the surrounding
plains, the noise of the five o’clock traffic of a major city has now
changed into the teen pop jingle that is Disney. With all acting as
reasoning actors in the Economy that is Disney, the King With No
Overalls is all too abound, with kids too encapsulated by its glory to
realize the reality: that it’s all unreal. What is being sold is in
fact not happiness, but only hope. However, maybe hope is happiness;
even the chief happiness?
Unwary of the war that is waged outside the Fortresses of Disneyland,
warlords fight in the intellectual battle of hope and reality. Disney
executives launch a box office bomb propagandizing that hope is a
prerequisite for ‘dreams come true’; and realism maniacs complain to
the United Nations’ International Court of Justice of unfair play,
unreasonableness, and misleading conduct.
Whilst the ideological corporate war is waging, our homes deal with
the same battle civilly. Older citizens, who have been victimized by
the naivety that is hope, know all too well the fever that is known as
disappointment. The more the child is drugged, the worse their fever
will be, until eventually, they wake up to reality, too paralyzed to
ever hope again. At least this was their story, factual to the tip.
Whereas there are 5.1 billion people on earth at this very moment, a
Gallup Poll found that less than 3% have access to the world’s riches.
Statistically then, most will never realize their dreams, and will
only be greeted by the slow compromise and surrender of their fondest
As economists and actuaries make this dispiriting realization, parents
just know better than to expose their children to the two-faced joker
that all too disappointingly smacked them in the face.
On the deathbed of many of the world’s most successful, analysts have
often asked what their strategies for success were. Whether it is
success in chemistry, physics, physiology, or literacy, the answer is
always the same: they believed in something when no one did, they
Without these dreamers, we would never have seen the victories that
are known as Lincoln, Edison, Teresa, Disney, and Wilberforce. Martin
Luther once stated, ‘Everything (important) that is done in the world
is done by hope’.
If only society came to a holistic understanding of accomplishment
that moved away from ‘me’ to ‘us’. To me, a thousand mining failures
is worth the one that hits gold – and the winner has an obligation to
celebrate his success with the thousand failures; just as the thousand
failures have an obligation to keep as a good sport, hold that upper
chin, and share in the victory of the winner: for he too, has won.
Once we gain a holistic view of success, I think that Man will realize
that their greatest fear is not that they are weak and undesired, but
that they are powerful beyond their imagination, and never had a
jurisdictional right to constrain the Image of God.
Chapter 7: Hollywood Nightlife
‘Once upon a time, there lived a little girl,
Miley was her name; the princess above all pearls,
In all lives and all dimensions, warped through space and time,
This captivating beauty, God, I pray that she’ll be mine.’
I have a theory that every person has a secret diary, where they put
their deepest adventures, whether it is in writing, in conversation,
or in thought. This was Jeremy’s secret diary, and he had no idea I
was reading it.
I knew he had a bit of a thing for Selena Gomez, but as I flipped
through his prayer diary, it was like page-after-page obsession with
‘Selena Shum’, he tested with ink on the pages, contrasting it
alongside ‘Selena Gomez’, her would-be maiden name.
Pictures with her face Photoshopped with his, clearly, this was a
scene from How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days.
Talk about romance, there was even a mathematical calculation, with
mathematical inputs of seventeen (the age of Selena), and twenty (the
age of Jeremy). Apparently, the statistical correlation between the
two was considered in the six-sigma region.
As they say, love makes you crazy, doesn’t it?
It was difficult to believe that we were still friends even though we
were out of high school. I was busy pursuing my singing career, Mandy
touring with me, and Jeremy busy studying engineering and management
at University. It’s hard to believe that it’s really only until after
high school, do you realize how great high school was. All the funny
moments in particular.
Nevertheless, this was the first time I had seen Jeremy in nearly five
years. Graduating high school at fifteen, Jeremy had already been out
of University for five years, and I and the Hannah Montana franchise
had taken off.
‘Oh my goodness, I can’t believe it’s you Miley,’ he exclaimed walking
‘Aww hi,’ I responded, not expecting his entrance, with me awkwardly
holding on to his ‘secret’ diary. I mean, as his best friend, don’t
you think I would have been smarter than to be reading a diary labeled
‘I’m sorry,’ I quickly added; as I realized his eyes looked down
suspiciously to see what I was reading.
‘Nah it’s cool,’ he responded, ‘I was going to show you it anyway,
easier than recalling all of those events hey.’
‘You are really in love with Selena Gomez aren’t you?’ I exclaimed to
try to break the ice. Maybe that wasn’t the best entrance though, for
a long time unseen friend. Maybe he had changed and wasn’t the same
kind of guy I had known when I was a child.
‘Well she’s pretty, and I guess she’s pretty Godly,’ he added.
‘Yeah your babies would look so hot,’ I said.
I really didn’t know what I was saying. You know how when you are
speaking to people sometimes, you are so excited, that you don’t even
know what you are talking about? This was one of those occasions.
‘Yeah,’ he said giggling.
‘By the way, I think what you are doing is so great for God these
days,’ he continued, ‘you can only do so much in ministry, but in the
entertainment industry, you are reaching kids who ministers may never
‘So I guess you are the world’s biggest teen pop star’, he stated
enthusiastically emphasizing the words ‘world’s biggest teen pop
Rolling my eyes, I replied, ‘yeah, I think God is using me in exciting
‘Hey, what about you, what are you doing?’ I asked.
‘Umm…’ he started, ‘I uh… work as an engineering manager,’ he
‘No way,’ that’s awesome, ‘I exclaimed.’
‘It is pretty cool,’ he said as his head looking down.
It’s not like I’m a special agent, but without training in forensics,
I knew very clearly that Jeremy was not telling the whole truth,
having known him for so long.
‘Hey we should go shopping,’ Jeremy said.
‘All the shops are closed though,’ I remarked, since it was already
late at night at around 10pm.
‘I know, which is great,’ Jeremy replied, ‘because we can go out in
I chuckled aloud, as I knew he was making reference to the Hannah/
Miley life I portrayed on television.
‘Okay, we’ll go out in secret,” I exclaimed.
It was so cool that we both finally had our license. In addition, I do
know at Church they say you shouldn’t go hanging out with a guy just a
boy and a girl, but because we’d known each other since high school,
he was one of the guys I could actually trust.
‘I got a question,’ Jeremy said as he was driving through the dark,
seeing what was open, ‘how do you know which girl is the right one?’
‘I don’t really know,’ I replied, ‘I thought Justin Wilde was the guy,
and we eventually split up.’
‘Do you reckon God has provided us with the one, or do you think God
lets us go around finding someone who’s suitable, and we commit to
them?’ I ask.
‘I guess it’s a combination of both,’ he replies, ‘what do you look
I knew the exact sort of guy I liked; I spent hour’s journaling, and
re-journaling, until I refined the list perfectly.
‘SPECIAL AGENT SHUM,’ the sheet of paper stated. My goodness, could
Jeremy be a secret agent?
Chapter 8: Wizards with Selena Gomez
‘Battle utosis,’ Selena Gomez remarks as she blows open a slot
appearing out of a clothes stack.
‘Please don’t hurt me,’ I begged Selena Gomez falling front down with
my knees bent and my head facing the ground, my hands covering my
However, maybe this wasn’t such a great place to start the story. You
see, moments ago this is what happened:
As I was simply strolling down Waverly Lane, I was ushered by two men
in a suit, who stated that the Director of MI5 wanted to see me.
‘How do you like me being you,’ Demi Lovato replies.
Selena Gomez was visiting England as a part of her Wizards tour, and
Dr Nick the evil scientist was planning to put her under a new magic
‘Your job,’ the Director remarks, ‘is to try to defend Selena Gomez
when she comes for her Wizards tour in England’.
‘I wonder what this is,’ Selena Gomez questioned, holding on to my
notepad, which had her name etched on the side, with a love heart
surrounding the text.
Although he has to be away from home for weeks in a row, nobody
suspects anything because he becomes visiting professor and speaks at
a wide number of leading Universities including:
University of California at Berkeley
University of Columbia
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
I can’t decide who is prettier though, Demi Lovato or Selena Gomez. I
mean, I asked all of my friends, and they think both sound awesome.
Engineers Week New Faces of Engineering 2010
Today’s engineers are working to solve issues on a global scale. They
dream big and love what they do. Engineers Week recognizes the
accomplishments of all engineers. The New Faces of Engineering program
highlights the interesting and unique work of young engineers and the
resulting impact on society. Young engineers two to five years out of
school are the focus of this recognition program. Engineers Week
sponsoring societies nominated young working engineers from among
Battelle Pacific Norwest National Laboratory
Nominated by the American Society of Mechanical Engineers, Pilli, 30,
a senior scientist and engineer, investigates and researches projects
that will aim to increase U.S. energy capacity while reducing
dependence on imported oil.
AARON SMITH, P.Eng
M&R Engineering Ltd.
Nominated by the American Society of Heating, Refrigeration and Air-
Conditioning Engineers, Smith, 28, is a mechanical engineer focusing
on high-performance green building design and renewable energy
MELODY ABLOLA, EIT
Nominated by the Institute of Industrial Engineers, Ablola, 27, is a
logistics consultant whose projects include designing the efficient
logistics provision for the London, 2012 Olympic Village.
Nominated by IEEE/IEEE-USA, Gaspard, 27, a PhD candidate at Carnegie
Mellon University, is working on a device that will increase the
accuracy of diagnosing pressure ulcers.
VERONICA CEDILLOS, EIT
Nominated by the American Society of Civil Engineers, Cedillos, 26, a
civil engineer, is currently working with GeoHazards International and
focusing on continuing efforts in tsunami risk reduction in Padang,
West Sumatra, Indonesia.
SCOTT BEVAN, P.E
PAE Consulting Engineers
Nominated by the American Council of Engineering Companies, Bevan, 30,
an electrical engineer, provides technical direction for a variety of
building types, from higher education facilities to commercial
buildings, and from health care facilities to public sector buildings.
University of Kentucky
Nominated by the American Society of Agricultural and Biological
Engineers, Fisk, 26, a biological engineer, has managed research
protocols on a variety of projects including an algae-based system for
CO2 mitigation from coal-fired power plants, thermochemical conversion
of biomass, and biodiesel production.
MICHAEL PEPERA, P.E.
Nominated by the American Institute of Chemical Engineers, Pepera, 29,
a chemical engineer, provides a blend of process engineering and
automation engineering with a focus on oil refining. He is presently
working on water projects as an instrumentation and controls engineer.
SCOTT BARTLETT, P.E.
Nominated by the Project Management Institute, Bartlett, 28, a
registered PE in mechanical engineering, serves as a mechanical
engineer for the US Navy and a high-performance fibers plant. He
constructs the 3D
model, generates construction drawings and specifications, performs
engineering calculations, submittal, and shop drawing reviews.
U.S. Army Corps of Engineers
Nominated by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, Johnson, 25, a research
electrical engineer, provides technical direction towards the power
export capability of a Fuel Cell Hybrid. She is conducting a national
study on Army base camp power and energy requirements.
Chevron Energy Technology Company
Nominated by the Society of Petroleum Engineers, Anchliya, 26 is a
reservoir simulation engineer in Houston. Anchliya is focal point for
the SPE Young Professionals Coordinating Committee and the SPE
International Student Development Committee.
KACEY FETCHO-PHILLIPS, P.E.
Nominated by the National Society of Professional Engineers, Fetcho-
Phillips, 29, a licensed professional engineer, is a candidate for a
Master of Business Administration from MIT Sloan School of Management
and a Master of Chemical Engineering from MIT school of Engineering.
USS New Hampshire
Nominated by the U.S. Navy Nuclear Propulsion Program, Manke, 25, is
currently a Lieutenant Junior Grade in the US Navy serving onboard the
USS New Hampshire and works as a Division Officer in the Engineering
Engineers Nominated by the American Council of Engineering Companies
John Peronto, P.E., S.E., SECB, LEED AP
John Peronto, P.E., S.E., SECB, LEED AP, a project engineer at
Thornton Tomasetti, Inc. in Chicago, Illinois, has exhibited great
passion and significant ingenuity in designing complex structures. His
significant structural designs include the concept study for the 123-
story Meraas Tower in Dubai, the 1001-meter tall Kingdom Tower in
Saudi Arabia, and the structural design of one of the largest aviation
hangars in the world at Memphis International Airport. In addition to
his project work, he proactively contributes to educating the next
generation of young engineers by volunteering at Marquette University
as an instructor/professional consultant and has served as a guest
lecturer at Cornell University.
Peronto holds a bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering and
bachelor’s and master’s degrees in civil engineering all from
Marquette University. He also holds a master of engineering in civil
engineering from Cornell University.
Yurintzy “Yuri” Estrada, a structural engineer at AECOM, works on many
local and international projects, including public-private partnership
projects in Mexico and development of movable bridge alternatives in
Australia. Most recently, she has been involved in several bridge
projects including inspecting, designing and rehabilitating three
bridge structures in Bronx, New York. She also worked on the
rehabilitation project for the Mosholu Parkway masonry arch bridge,
where she developed the complex finite element model for the bridge,
helping to advance design alternatives, protect against seismic
damage, and conserve the historical significance of the 105 year-old
Extending her knowledge and passion, Estrada also leads a team to
provide potable water to a growing Health Centre in Kenya, and helped
develop and implement an Engineers Without Borders corporate-wide
initiative to help AECOM employees volunteer their time and technical
skills. She holds a bachelor’s degree in civil engineering from the
City College of New York.
Yvana Kuhn, P.E.
Yvana Kuhn has worked on projects across the globe during her career
as a civil and environmental engineer for AECOM in San Diego. Her
experience includes hydrology and water quality analyses; storm water,
water and coastal management; and erosion control. She has worked on a
variety of water resources projects in California and Michigan, as
well as China and Dubai where she provided sustainable design
recommendations. During her graduate studies, she worked on marine
protected area design along California’s central coast and with the
Southwest Fisheries Science Center in La Jolla, where her research on
marine mammal abundance was published in Marine Mammal Science (2007).
Kuhn holds a bachelor’s degree in civil and environmental engineering
from the University of Michigan and a master’s degree in environmental
science and management from the University of California, Santa
Barbara. He is actively involved in building homes and raising money
for Habitat for Humanity’s “Woman Build” chapter and was a captain
this year for a Coastal Cleanup along California’s coastal waterways.
Craig T. Reinsch, P.E.
Craig Reinsch, P.E., is an associate engineer for Olsson Associates in
Lincoln, Nebraska. He has worked on various projects involving water
supply and distribution, wastewater collection and treatment,
hydraulic modeling, and construction services. His most recent
accomplishment included on-site construction services for a lake
community’s sanitary sewer collections system, resulting in saving
over $500,000 and mitigating homeowner concerns. He has written four
technical and conference proceedings articles and has presented at
several local, national, and international conferences related to his
research and professional experience.
Reinsch also takes time out to give back to his community, including
recently chairing Nebraska’s Water for People committee and being
involved in their international development in the Dominican Republic.
He also works at the University of Nebraska as an adjunct lecturer and
is a Boy Scouts of American volunteer and an Eagle Scout. He holds a
bachelor’s degree in civil engineering and master’s degree in
environmental engineering both from the University of Nebraska-
Engineers Nominated by the American Institute of Chemical Engineers
Lauren Jackson, a process engineer with CH2M HILL Engineers Inc. in
Spartanburg, South Carolina, has projects that include a plant that
will convert molasses to ethanol for fuel and one that will create
polymer for “green” carpet out of corn syrup rather than the
conventional petrochemical process. As a member of the design team on
a polysilicate plant in Russia, she successfully completed two tasks
that stretched her capabilities and demonstrated her leadership:
interpreting Russian fire codes and completing a complex set of
calculations designed to establish an explosion index. In 2009,
Jackson submitted her first proactive value engineering solution to a
client resulting in a $98,000 savings.
Jackson is an active member of the Jaycees and Toastmasters
International. She also volunteers with Habitat for Humanity, CH2M
HILL’s Relay for Life team, and works as a passionate volunteer with
Guardian Ad Litem as an advocate for children in family court
proceedings. She holds a bachelor’s degree in chemical engineering
from the University of South Carolina.
Engineers Nominated by the American Society of Agricultural and
Candice Johnson, E.I.T.
Candice Johnson, E.I.T., a systems engineer with John Deere, currently
writes system requirement specifications for precision farming
applications. This includes expanding the current Greenstar product
capabilities and entering new areas with a focus on providing
customers a means to improve the overall efficiency of their
operations. Prior to her current role, Johnson worked as a
manufacturing engineer at John Deere where she created value stream
maps, optimized assembly line layout and improved ergonomics of
assembling grain drills, and also as a quality engineer where she was
the lead for two new product programs ensuring all quality planning
Johnson is active in the American Society of Agricultural and
Biological Engineers, serving as a past president of the International
Preprofessional Community and being recognized with the ASABE
President’s Distinguished Service Award. In her community, she the
club director for a youth volleyball program that provides an
opportunity for local players to compete on a traveling team. She
holds a bachelor’s degree in biosystems engineering from Oklahoma
Thomas Hefferan, a process engineer with Eli Lilly, has focused on
leading projects to reduce process cycle time and waste from a large
scale Fermentation and Purification Biotech process. As a Six Sigma
Green Belt, he has supported or led six projects which resulted in
throughout rate increases and a reduction of over 1.2 million gallons
of water per year from the plant’s automated cleaning process. As an
equipment owner whose systems are used weekly by over 100 operators,
Hefferan is continuously looking for opportunities to reduce human
errors and improve process understanding through the development of
training programs and equipment monitoring tools.
Hefferan holds a bachelor’s degree in biosystems engineering from
Michigan State University.
Kevin Wright, a water resources engineer with the Suwannee River Water
Management District, is currently concentrating on water supply
planning in the form of a District Water Supply Plan with an adjacent
water management district to address future water needs over the next
20 years, and the formation of the Nature Coast Regional Water
Authority which will connect four municipalities and two counties with
drinking water and wastewater. Prior to this, Wright served as the
project coordinator for the District’s efforts with the Federal
Emergency Management Agency Map Modernization Program, where he helped
develop several website applications, enabling residents to view and
print flood zone maps, determine flood elevations and answer common
questions about the National Flood Insurance Program.
Wright is a member of many professional organizations, including the
Florida Floodplain Managers Association where he currently serves as
regional directors, the Florida Engineering Society, and is a founding
member of the Suwannee River Toastmasters. He holds a bachelor’s
degree in agricultural and biological engineering, specializing in
land and water resources, from the University of Florida and is
currently pursuing a master’s degree in water resources planning and
management at the University of Florida.
Nate Green, E.I.T.
Nate Green, a maintenance team leader with E & J Gallo Winery,
oversees a staff of 27 individuals and is responsible for managing the
construction of wine process equipment and piping for a new bottling
line, three additional filters, and utility upgrades. He is
responsible for the economic, safety, and productivity metrics for his
team and managed to maintain and improve equipment related to plant
utilities and wine processing ranging from million gallon tanks to
simple pumps and complex filtering systems. Prior to his current
position, Green worked with Diamond Foods, Inc. as a design engineer
where he worked on major projects such as a McDonald’s salad nut
processing and packaging system, a snack processing room renovation,
and a packaging line installation.
In addition to his nominating organization, Green is a member of the
American Society of Mechanical Engineers and the San Joaquin Valley
Project Managers Association. He holds a bachelor’s degree in
bioresource and agricultural engineering and a master’s degree in
engineering, water science, both from California Polytechnic State
Engineers Nominated by the American Society of Civil Engineers
Yaye-Mah Boye, P.E.
Yaye-Mah Boye, a project manager with AECOM, provides technical and
strategic advice to financiers, developers, contractors and other
major players in the infrastructure finance market. She focuses on
public-private partnerships in infrastructure and works on projects
with capital investment values exceeding $500 million. Prior to her
current work, one of her first projects involved converting old
polluting coal-burning heating plants into cleaner and more efficient
gas-burning plants. That program was successfully implemented in 46
New York City public schools, resulting in energy savings and reduced
Boye was featured on the cover on ENR Magazine in October 2006 issue
focused on the importance of internships. Outside of her engineering
passion, she is an active member of many humanitarian organizations
including SENEPRONET and The Global Syndicate. She holds a bachelor’s
degree in civil engineering from the Polytechnic University of New
York and is currently pursuing an MBA in finance from Fordham
Raissa Douglas Ferron, Ph.D., E.I.T.
Dr. Raissa Douglas Ferron, an assistant professor at the University of
Texas at Austin, focuses her research and teaching interest in the
area of concrete materials. Her dissertation research linked the
structural changes in fresh cement paste to formwork pressures of self-
consolidating concrete, and was the firs to directly examine the
flocculation mechanisms of sheared cement paste suspensions. Her
current research addresses challenges facing the future of concrete
materials. She was awarded a highly competitive National Science
Foundation grant to conduct research on in situ characterization of
fresh state microstructure, and is also developing a biocementitious
composite material aimed at providing sustainable residential
materials for developing countries. In addition, she is active in
several professional organizations and serves as an associate editor
for a major engineering journal.
Dr. Ferron is also collaborating with an all-girl public school in
Austin that educates girls from disadvantaged backgrounds to develop
instructional materials to excite the girls about the diversity of
career paths within civil engineering. She holds a bachelor’s degree
in civil engineering from Howard University, and a master’s and
doctoral degree in civil engineering, specializing in materials, from
Alexandra Iannitelli, E.I.T.
Alex Iannitelli, E.I.T., an engineer at Thornton Tomaselli, as been
working for the past two years on the forensic investigation of the
collapse of the I-35 West Bridge in Minneapolis. She has spearheaded
the development of the tools required to integrate forensics
information about any structure and develop a forensics analog to
building information modeling. The resulting three-dimensional model
and associated tools help to consolidate, access, and display the
information relevant to the collapse. Her developing expertise has
also been invaluable in the subsequent investigations of parking
garage and pedestrian bridge collapses in Atlanta, and a riser system
failure in a tall building in Toronto.
Iannitelli holds a bachelor’s degree in architectural engineering from
Drexel University and is currently pursuing a master’s degree in civil
engineering and engineering mechanics with a structural concentration
at Columbia University.
Melissa Wu, P.E.
Melissa Wu, P.E., an associate engineer with CH2M HILL, has made a
significant impact to all the projects on which she works,
consistently reflected in feedback from clients. Because of her
relationship building, Pierce County requested CH2M HILL present
options for design build of their future $300 million wastewater
treatment plant upgrade. Wu is always looking for ways to be
sustainable, whether developing beneficial uses for both reclaimed
water and biosolids on projects, but she also focuses on being
innovative, such as developing a phased approach to biosolids
treatment and disposal that was both feasible and took into account
the client’s cash flow over the life of the project. She is currently
working on the Spokane Riverside Park Water Reclamation Facility
Program Management Project as project engineer for the Headworks Odor
Control task, responsible for updating the conceptual design and
helping to make the plant a better neighbor for the community.
Wu is involved in her local community through the Younger Member Forum
of ASCE, and has also participated on the CH2M HILL team for Seattle
Works Day, an annual community service event. In addition, she
volunteers with K-12 outreach programs to inspire young students to
pursue engineering careers. She holds a bachelor’s degree in civil
engineering from the University of Michigan and a master’s degree in
environmental engineering from the University of California Berkeley.
Engineers Nominated by the American Society of Heating, Refrigeration
and Air-Conditioning Engineers
Jonathan Evans, P.E.
Jonathan Evans, P.E., a project engineer with Sustainable Engineering
Group, is dedicated to helping commercial facilities become more
environmentally sustainable and reduce their carbon footprint. His
project experience includes specializing in energy modeling, renewable
energy technology analysis and geothermal design. Over the last three
years, he has been part of an engineering team that has save more than
700,000 kW-hr and 800,000 therms per year, which is equivalent to
5,500 tons of carbon dioxide per year. His company consults with the
Wisconsin Focus on Energy program and he has been responsible for
managing over 75 commercial building projects ranging in size from
10,000 to 700,000 square feet which have been awarded close to
$500,000 in utility incentives. Evans has also been involved with
commissioning, energy modeling, and administering 20 LEED projects,
including several Gold and Platinum certifications.
Evans recently became a father and enjoys helping coach his nephew’s
football team and volunteering with Habitat for Humanity. He holds a
bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering from the Milwaukee School
of Engineering and master’s degree in mechanical engineering from the
University of Wisconsin.
Ryan Fedie, an engineering service manager, energy efficiency, with
Bonneville Power Administration, oversees the technical direction of
an energy-efficiency program that has saved more than 660 million kWh
each of the last two years. This helped residential, industrial,
commercial and agricultural customers save millions of dollars in
energy each year. He also manages over $2 million in energy efficiency
research and development projects for the agency’s office of
technology innovation. To bridge the gap between R&D and programmatic
activity, he’s helped develop an emerging technologies framework to
“fill the pipeline” with commercially available energy efficiency
strategies and technologies for the future.
Prior to his work at BPA, Fedie worked to advance building
commissioning, including providing engineering support to programs,
and performed energy savings calculations. He holds a bachelor’s
degree in mechanical engineering from the Milwaukee School of
Engineering, and a master’s degree in mechanical engineering from
Portland State University. He is currently pursuing a second master’s
degree in engineering and technology management, also from Portland
Brandon Harwick, P.E.
Brandon Harwick, P.E., an associate at Vanderweil Engineers, is an
ambitious project manager and the youngest associate at Vanderweil.
His portfolio of projects includes mission critical data centers,
government office buildings, museums, archival storage facilities,
laboratories, and radio broadcasting. Energy efficient systems are his
passion, demonstrated by his professional work and also personally by
renovations to his rental properties. Harwick’s specific projects
include the King Abdullah University of Science and Technology, which
was the first LEED project in Saudi Arabia and the world’s largest
LEED platinum project on record, and the Parks and People Foundation
which features a closed-loop geothermal system and dedicated
ventilation system with desiccant wheel dehumidification.
Outside of engineering, Harwick performs with a Washington DC dance
company which competed in the top 40 of America’s Got Talent last
year. The company is a charitable organization providing free
entertainment and raising money for HIV/AIDS research. He holds a
bachelor’s degree in architectural engineering with a mechanical
emphasis from Penn State University.
Michael P. Cannistraro, P.E., LEED AP
Michael Cannistraro, P.E., a vice president of engineering with J.C.
Cannistraro, is the youngest executive in a second-generation family
business. He leads the company in all virtual design and construction.
Under his leadership, the company was selected by the General Services
Administration for building information modeling on all federal
projects in over 60 percent of the country totaling up to five years
of future contracts. He is also developing patent-pending software
that enables facilities management through building information
Cannistraro is currently completing his MBA at Boston University, and
holds both bachelors and master’s degrees in mechanical engineering
from Tufts University. As a Tufts graduate, he became interested in
the university’s Curio project, an entry in the Department of Energy’s
Solar Decathlon competition and facilitated the installation of energy-
efficient HVAC and rainwater collection systems donated by his firm.
Scott West, LEED AP
Scott West, a mechanical engineer with Jacobs Engineering, is
currently on a transfer for two years from the Fort Worth office to
the Jacobs MEP team in Reading, England. He has been instrumental in
the development of both sustainable and carbon neutral developments on
numerous projects. He has developed sustainability strategies for two
of the largest airports in England. The strategies, which involve bio-
mass and gas-fired combined heat and power plants, are estimated to
reduce the total energy cost of one of the airports and the energy
cost of three terminal buildings for the other airport by 30 percent.
West also has experience with whole building energy simulation for
LEED projects and is currently the principal LEED consultant on the
500,000 square foot King Abdulaziz Centre for Knowledge and Culture in
Dhahran, Saudi Arabia.
Apart from his engineering career, West actively participates in his
local church choir and competes in 5K races for local charities. He
holds a bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering and an MBA from
the University of Arkansas-Fayetteville.
Engineers Nominated by the American Society of Mechanical Engineers
Angel McMullen-Gunn, a senior mechanical engineer and manufacturing
business manager at Hamilton Sundstrand’s Mechanical Operations, is
quite divers in her responsibilities. Not only does In she serve as
the plant site test engineering expert by supporting flow test systems
for hydraulic aerospace components, she also leads the Log Control
Manufacturing and Shipping and receiving departments. In fact, she is
the first female manufacturing business manager in the twenty-six year
history of the plant. In addition, she has been instrumental in the
growth of the plant’s co-op program, actively recruiting to nearly
triple the number of students hired in the past two years. McMullen-
Gunn is also very active in the E-Mentoring Program with the American
Society of Mechanical Engineers and holds multiple leadership roles
within the Society of Women Engineers.
McMullen-Gunn holds a bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering and
a master’s degree in engineering management both from the University
of Nebraska, Lincoln. She is currently pursuing her master’s degree in
quality systems management with Six Sigma Black Belt Certification at
the National Graduate School.
Engineers Nominated by the Institute of Electrical and Electronics
Robert J. Webster III, Ph.D.
Dr. Bob Webster, III, an assistant professor at Vanderbilt University,
is making significant contributions to fundamental design, modeling,
and practical applications of electromechanical systems, particularly
novel medical devices. As a true interdisciplinary engineer, he has
training in three areas of engineering (electrical, mechanical, and
biomedical), as well as computer science, and works closely with
surgeons and radiologists. As a graduate student and now as an
independent researcher, he has developed two systems involving the
design, control, and analysis of flexible robots: steerable needles
and active cannulas. Both of these could have a significant impact on
medicine and to potential to revolutionize many type of surgery by
providing miniature tentacle-like robot manipulators that can “turn
corners” inside the human body. As an assistant professor, Webster’s
teaching evaluations have been consistently excellent, and he has been
the academic advisor for 35 undergraduates, supervised 14
undergraduate research projects, and has advised or co-advised 7 Ph.D.
candidates. He was part of a small group who initiated a major
curriculum modernization to create a continuous modern design
experience from freshman year through senior capstone design, which he
Webster has assisted with several high school robotics activities for
students and faculty, provided laboratory tours for children and young
adults, and mentored a K-12 teacher in his laboratory. He holds a
bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering from Clemson University,
and both a master’s and doctoral degree in mechanical engineering from
Johns Hopkins University.
Ryan Acierno, and engineer with CH2M HILL, is constantly working to
improve his own engineering and safety skills so that he can better
help his colleagues, clients, and employer through his position in the
Manufacturing and Life Sciences business group. He has mastered
engineering software-based skills that allow the firm to be more
competitive on project proposals, and is the only member of his
business group in the Spartanburg, South Carolina office to become a
LEED Accredited Professional, allowing his office to respond
positively to proposals requiring LEED accredited staff. He
contributed this knowledge to the SCHOTT Solar project which was the
first photovoltaic manufacturing plant the office had worked on.
Acierno worked on detailed design and testing of major power
distribution components, and on-site construction support where he
utilized both his OSHA 10 Hour safety training and communication
skills to work with a German client who had little U.S. experience.
Acierno is also involved in the community, by providing design and
construction-support work on the DSM Medical project in Greenville,
South Carolina, volunteering with the Boy Scouts to help scout earn
their engineers’ badge, and volunteering with Relay for Life. He holds
a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering from the University of
Engineers Nominated by the National Society of Professional Engineers
Melinda Kay Fridy, P.E.
Melinda Fridy, P.E., is a project manager with Water’s Edge Aquatic
Design in Lenexa, Kansas and is passionate about creating safe and
efficient designs for the aquatic community. In the past five years,
she has designed recirculation systems for over 40 commercial pools
and fountains in the U.S. and abroad. She also evaluates aquatic
facilities, oversees construction, and provides training on water
treatment equipment. Due to her desire to work on unique and
sustainable water features, she became a LEED AP and has contributed
to several award-winning projects. Notable projects include the new
$10 million Cascade Falls Aquatic Center in Ankeny, Iowa, and several
prominent fountain projects including the Women’s Leadership Fountain
in Kansas City and multiple water features in Doha, Qatar.
Fridy promotes engineering to middle and high school students by
assisting with MATHCOUNTS and becoming a YouthFriends mentor. She
actively volunteers in her church and is currently working on the
design of a clinic in Guatemala through Engineers Without Borders. She
holds bachelor’s degrees in civil engineering and mathematics, as well
as a master’s degree in civil engineering, all from the University of
Antonia Cecile Hawkins, E.I.
Antonia Hawkins, E.I., works as a mechanical design engineer for
Southern Company where she leads numerous projects for a major power
generation utility including natural gas and other auxiliary piping
systems for a combined cycle generating plant. She previously received
the Southern Excellence Award for substantial cost savings in her
projects. Hawkins is very active in the Alabama Society of
Professional Engineers, serving as the state membership chair to help
the society evolve and better meet the needs of their younger members.
She also worked with the communications committee to redevelop the
website to be more interactive and appealing.
Hawkins promotes math, science and engineering to local middle and
high school students by volunteering with MATHCOUNTS, serving as a
judge at the regional BEST robotics competition, and working with the
Girls in Engineering program at Southern Company. Hawkins holds a
bachelor's degree in both general science and mechanical engineering,
and a master’s degree in engineering in construction engineering
management from the University of Alabama, Birmingham.
Debbie Jacklitch-Kuiken, E.I.T.
Debbie Jacklitch-Kuiken, E.I.T., is a pioneer specializing in the
design of wind energy systems, combining the dual qualifications of a
meteorologist with mechanical engineering to bring an insightful and
fully rounded approach to the assessment, design, installation and
operation of wind energy systems. An expert in WindPro, the world’s
foremost wind-modeling software, she is licensed as both an instructor
and technical support specialist for the program. Only a handful of
individuals in the U.S. are licensed to instruct the program, making
her unique in the field.
Jacklitch-Kuiken is also an advocate for the engineering profession
and the advancement of women in the sciences. Active within both the
National Society of Professional Engineers and the Society of Women
Engineers, she judges the First Lego League competitions, volunteers
with MATHCOUNTS, and visits local elementary schools for “Introduce a
Girl to Engineering Day.” She holds a bachelor’s degree in mechanical
engineering and a bachelor’s degree in atmospheric science from the
University of North Dakota.
Scott D. Peyton, PE
Scott Peyton, P.E., is on the forefront of the rapidly emerging stream
restoration industry. Recognized as a national expert, he incorporates
applied fluvial geomorphology and natural channel design principals on
stream and watershed restoration projects across the country. From the
big streams of Texas to the beautiful rivers of Tennessee, Peyton can
be found canoeing reaches of stream or wading through waters up to his
In his home state of Ohio, he has served as project manager or design
engineer on numerous successful stream restoration projects
representing several miles of restored stream. During the restoration
of Avey’s Run on Cincinnati Nature Center property, he used natural
channel design techniques, working with the natural tendencies of the
river to produce an aesthetically pleasing, self maintaining stream
system that will be enjoyed by the many Nature Center visitors.
Peyton is passionate about his profession and is actively involved in
public outreach and education workshops on stream restoration
including teaching RIVERMorph software at advanced geomorphology
classes. With the aspiration of keeping our rivers clean, each year he
recruits volunteers to cleanup tires and trash during the RiverSweep
of the East Fork of the Little Miami River. He holds a bachelor’s
degree in civil engineering from the University of Dayton.
Engineers Nominated by the US Army Corps of Engineers
Daniel E. Morales, E.I.T.
Daniel Morales, E.I.T., a structural engineer with the Tulsa, Oklahoma
District, is involved in many programs throughout the district. He is
a key team member on the Canton Dam Safety Assurance Project, which
will result in the largest fuse-gated spillway structure in the world.
He recently completed the design of a 540-foot bridge going over the
new spillway, and he recently presented the bridge design at the 2009
USACE Infrastructure conference. As a technical lead in the district’s
bridge safety program, he inspects and reports on public bridges, and
his recommendations result in needed repairs. Many of the district
bridges require a “hands-on” inspection by going underneath the bridge
to inspect critical components every two years. In his community,
Morales helped to facilitate the Keystone Lake Emergency Exercise,
which involved the community and emergency response personnel.
Morales is a member of the Recent Graduate Panel for the Oklahoma
State University student chapter of the American Society of Civil
Engineers where he participates in MATHCOUNTS and attends career fairs
as a member of the recruitment team. He is currently pursuing his
professional engineering license, and holds both bachelors and
master’s degrees in civil engineering from Oklahoma State University.
Emily Devillier Schiffmacher
Emily Schiffmacher, an environmental engineer with the Baltimore
District, has tackled progressively more complex projects over the
past three years. She led the team that completed the cleanup of the
first Formerly Used Defense Site within the Baltimore District under
the Comprehensive Environmental Response, Compensation and Liability
Act. She has also been highly engaged in the management and technical
oversight of Military Munitions cleanup programs. Due to her
experience with cleanup at chemically contaminated sites and sites
containing conventional and chemical military munitions, she was
assigned as technical expert on the evaluation team to select highly
specialized contractors for a one-billion dollar worldwide
environmental and munitions contract.
Schiffmacher also contributes to her community through the Society of
American Military Engineers where she chairs the student mentoring
committee and is the program manager for the “Easy as PI” middle
school program. She was selected as Young Engineer of the Year for her
SAME chapter. She holds both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in
biological resources engineering from the University of Maryland.
Thomas J. Walker, P.E.
Tom Walker, P.E., a lead structural engineer with the Sacramento
District, is the lead engineer on a $1.3 billion auxiliary control
structure for Folsom Dam outside Sacramento. This control structure is
a large concrete gravity dam with six submerged tainter gates, a 3,000
foot-long spillway, and a stepped chute and stilling basin located in
a seismically active area. He is responsible for leading design,
evaluation, analysis, and atypical investigations associated with the
design. In addition to this work, he is certified to perform and to
train others to perform post-disaster structural evaluations. Due to
his expertise, he has been called upon to train Department of Defense
Walker participates in the “adopt a school” program in Sacramento and
periodically visits local middle and high schools to explain how what
they are learning is applicable to a future career in engineering. He
is also an advisor in the Sacramento District’s rotational engineer
intern training program. He holds a joint bachelor’s degrees in civil
engineering and liberal arts from St. Mary’s College of California,
and is currently pursuing a master’s degree in civil engineering from
California State University.
Benjamin Charles Masters
Benjamin Masters, a research physicist in the Construction Engineering
Research Laboratory at the U.S. Army Engineer Research and Development
Center (ERDC-CERL), is not the “typical” researcher. He combines a
background in physics and nuclear engineering with a practical
attitude. He is currently researching the degradation of ferroelectric
materials for the purposes of high energy plasma and particle
emission. Potential applications for these ferroelectric plasma
sources include destruction of harmful gases, energy-efficient
lighting, and production of cold-cathode X-rays. He designed and
constructed the multi-instrumented vacuum system with which he is
conducting this research and repurposed dozens of discarded obsolete
computers into a supercomputer cluster for running research-related
Masters is a member of several technical and honor societies, and he
won the 2008 ERDC-CERL Research Assistant of the Year during his 18-
month tenure as a student contractor. He holds a bachelor’s degree in
physics, a master’s degree in nuclear engineering, and is pursuing his
doctoral degree in nuclear engineering, all from the University of
Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
Michelle Lay, E.I.T.
Michelle Lay, E.I.T., a project engineer with the Tulsa District,
recently finished an intense two year training program and currently
serves as the project engineer for the District’s largest civil works
project. The Canton Dam Safety Project is multi-year and multi-phased,
requiring a team of both in-house personnel and industry partners. She
has used this opportunity to communicate agency messages on public and
dam safety along with providing information on current design and
construction activities to the local community. She also manages
several other major maintenance projects for the Tulsa District and a
dam rehabilitation project at Fort Sill.
Outside of her normal job duties, Lay serves as the chair of the
Civilian Activities and Recreational Events Council, attends
recruiting events to promote the benefits of engineering to college
students, and serves in a national position on the Young Member
Council for the Society of American Military Engineers. She holds a
bachelor’s degree in chemical engineering and a master’s degree in
environmental engineering both from Oklahoma State University.