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Check this one out.
Thanks for posting this, Steve. I think ol' Lee is experiencing some
latent Vietnam flashbacks. And what's with that stuff on the side of
his mouth? Has he been eating shit? Because he seems so full of it in
"I have to admit, though, that one of my more famous lines didn't come
from anything I heard in the military: 'I bet you're the kind of guy
that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamnned
common courtesy to give him a reach-around.' I forgot my lines one day
and it just came out of the sky. God sent it down to me."
Did God go to the WGA arbitration committee for credit? This is someone
(Ermey) who said in an interview, shortly after the film came out, that
he felt uncomfortable saying the line, "God has a hard-on for Marines."
He thought it worked against his religious upbringing. So why then is
he giving the Almighty credit for a line that would be more appropriate
in one of Mark Foley's instant messages? I guess He wanted Lee to have
that line so he just "miracled" it to him. , )
As for Ermey's bullshit claim that this immortal line was something he
never heard in the military, he ought to read William Manchester's
memoirs, "Goodbye, Darkness." Manchester, who was wounded at Okinawa,
talks about a DI he knew in WWII who, when getting drunk in a bar one
night, talked about his own homosexual experiences, many of them with
people who apparently held high positions in the military. He concluded
his tirade that he was going to write a book and call it "Famous Cocks
I Have Sucked."
I mean, the Marines are supposed to be the toughest branch of all of
the services, aren't they? I assume that would mean they are the
roughest talking bunch of SOBs too. Maybe Ermey should have paid a
visit to the WAF basic training area at Lackland Air Force Base. The
woman DI there would shout out such gems to the female recruits on the
parade ground as, "I want to hear eight hundred pussies sucking wind!"
Then she would add, "There's eight miles of cock on this base, and
you're not going to get one fucking inch until you march right!" (My
two brothers had the dubious honor of doing their basic training at
Lackland, and when the wind was blowing in the right direction they
would hear this. They served at different times, so I am assuming the
DI was working from a "script.")
"Every role I do, I push the character as far as I can. I'll take him
right to the edge. In fact, I'll take him over the edge until the
director pulls me back in."
Is Ermey a method actor? He should be a guest on "Inside the Actors
Studio." The questioning can begin with "What's your favorite curse
word?" and Ermey can fill up the hour from there. Of course, being on
the Bravo Channel, every curse word would be bleeped, so anyone tuning
in late would think they're hearing a very long test of the Emergency
"That's why I loved doing The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There's no
fucking falling over the edge with Sheriff Hoyt. He's a sexually
perverted homicidal maniac."
Uhhhh, I may be wrong, but aren't most homicidal maniacs sexually
perverted? Don't most have some Freudian type of hangup that leads to
their particular "career choices"?
"I mean, come on, where's the edge?"
Performing with Bono, maybe? , )
"And there's not a writer in Hollywood who can identify with that type
Thank Bog for small favors! Well, maybe there's a few. I think they
"Sexually perverted homicidal maniacs just aren't doing any writing in
Hollywood these days."
No, they are too busy murdering innocent Amish children, Lee. How would
Lee rate the execution-style headshots made to the girls in the school?
("Outstanding, Private Pyle! I think we've finally found something that
you do well!")
"So I try to improve the entertainment value."
Maybe that's why I saw the trailer at the same time I saw that piece of
shit "Snakes on a Plane." Perhaps this one could be called "Cannibal
Headhunters from Pendelton."
"I tried to get the producers and directors to go along with my
sexually perverted version of Sheriff Hoyt, which is something I came
up with, and it worked great. But, no. I lost, and it really upsets me.
As a matter of fact, I rewrote a scene so that Hoyt comes out of the
woods dragging a corpse and buttoning his trousers up. Maybe it's just
a little too tough for 'em, you know? They say shit like, 'I don't
think the audience is ready for this.' And, 'We'll have to save this
for the DVD,' or something. It really pisses me off."
Maybe we'll be treated to a clip on "Mail Call." Is this a
tongue-in-cheek statement, or has Agent Orange finally eaten away at
"Stanley called me up all the time. He'd call at three o'clock in the
morning and say, 'Oh, it's 10 o'clock over here.' [Laughs] 'Yeah, well,
it's three o-fucking-clock in the morning here, Stanley. Oh well.' He
called me about two weeks before he died, as a matter of fact. We had a
long conversation about Eyes Wide Shut. He told me it was a piece of
shit and that he was disgusted with it and that the critics were going
to have him for lunch. He said Cruise and Kidman had their way with
him-exactly the words he used."
I think Ermey would have a better chance being visited by Marley's
Ghost than to be getting one of those famous middle-of-the-night phone
calls from Kubrick. Ich said it best in his response, so I won't
elaborate on this paragraph, except to say that if Kubrick and Ermey
were *that* close, why wasn't he interviewed in Jan Harlan's "Stanley
Kubrick: A Life in Pictures"? Kubrick would have been better off
keeping a relationship with Malcolm McDowell if any of this is true.
"He was kind of a shy little timid guy. He wasn't real forceful. That's
why he didn't appreciate working with big, high-powered actors. They
would have their way with him, he would lose control, and his movie
would turn to shit."
Kubrick was shy, but he wasn't timid -- not when he didn't want to be.
As for the "That's why he didn't appreciate working with big,
high-powered actors" remark, what about Nicholson? In "A Life in
Pictures" Nicholson said he and Kubrick talked about working together
again. "They would have their way with him, he would lose control, and
his movie would turn to shit." If that were the case, "Spartacus" would
have been a massive turd. Kubrick did the best he could, under the
circumstances. He held his own against "high-powered" egomaniac Kirk
Douglas pretty well, I think. This is an odd way for Ermey to thank
someone who pretty much made his career what it is today.
"I've been over [in Iraq] a couple of times. We're doing just fine.
He obviously doesn't believe the NIE report either.
"The problem is, the Communist News Network and all of the
media-which is run by totally off-the-wall, clear-off-the-deep-end
liberals-are on the wrong side. They're with the bad guys."
They are, huh? "Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed
cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant?" Hey, Lee,
use that part as an audition tape to get on as a co-host of Bill
O'Reilly's show. These neo-cons are going to need every bit of help
from every part of the country right now, while the rest of us sit back
and enjoy witnessing a GOP meltdown.
"I hang out with the Joint Chiefs of Staff."
Is there a Buck Turgidson currently among them? ("The Air Force never
"I play golf with 'em."
Prolly need someone the officers can beat. What's yer handicap, Lee?
"I hang with the military."
Out to dry, Lee? , )
"When I need a social evening I pack up my stuff and go to Camp
Pendleton, to the NCO Club. I don't go to some bar in Hollywood.
There's nobody there I care to talk to."
Too bad, Lee. You could do some pretty good standup comedy. Raunch
sells, don't you know? You're a goddamn cult hero to many people out
"I go to Bethesda/Walter Reed Hospital a couple of times each year, and
those kids are laying there with their legs shot off and can't wait to
get a prosthetic so they can get back to their unit and keep fighting
Makes me think of the hospital scene from "Cross of Iron," where the
general hands out an Iron Cross to a quadruple amputee. Not only are
amputees not sent back into combat (this isn't the War Between the
States, Lee), but I doubt there are many who would want to "stump their
way" to Baghdad and beyond. Running for political office maybe, but not
to return to combat. ("I'll get my other leg blown off and have a
"But one thing we didn't show in Full Metal Jacket is what happens
after the platoon graduates: The DI relaxes and has a nice chat with
them before he sends them off."
Hmmmm...with tea and buscuits too? (though a mouthful of buscuits)
"Disappear, scumbag!" (SLURPS his tea while holding his little finger
"We train men to kill and win wars, and we train women to support those
So what do eight hundred women Marine pussies sucking wind sound like,
Lee? , ) ("I'll bet you if there was some pussy up there on top of that
obstacle you could get up there! Couldn't you?!")
"The old Gunny won't be coming out of the closet anytime soon. I love
tanks and things that make loud explosions."
You do, huh, Lee? Dr. Freud would beg to differ with you regarding this
I realize the Marine Corps helps build self-confidence, but Ermey's
confidence has apparently morphed into megalomania. What was he doing,
firing the shotgun and then inhaling the smoke from the barrel in
("We're you about to call me an asshole?")